One Year, and I still miss you terribly!

It still hurts like it happenend yesterday. It's been an entire year. It's so hard to believe! My dear, beautiful sister passed away from Stage 4 Lung Cancer. I remember it like it was yesterday. It is so hard to get through the days thinking that I won't have my sister to grow old with. I can't imagine how my niece must feel. Or my mom, to lose a child. I can't imagine the pain people go through losing a child. It has to be the most horrible feeling in the world. I always say, dig a hole next to my kid, because I will never be able to go on. That is the truth. I don't think I would be able to go on without my kids. They are the whole reason I am here today. I ask God everyday to grant me a few wishes only in life, keep my family healthy and happy, and me healthy enough to take care of my kids. God less you my dear sweet Sissy, who has gone way too soon. You are loved and missed so much now and will be...forever. I love you!

I did it... I survived!!!

I am here to tell you that I have officially survived the Holiday season! And nonetheless, all went smooth. I only broke down once. I kept myself pretty drunk and drugged up too, does that count? No? Bite me!
I wanted to hit the stores on the day after Christmas for some sales for next year, but I don't know what I was lower on, energy or cash. Mix em together and I was at rock bottom. The kids LOVED their MP4's and Nico got an ant farm...thanks Dad and Tereasa!! That's a good diet! I have the little buggers plugged in the kitchen counter. So everytime I want to go grab a bite to eat...nah! I was disappointed however, my sister-in-law and nephews didn't come to dinner. They were greatly missed. I do understand the Dean being uncomfortable. Hell, if I could not go to something when I feel uncomfortable, I would NOT be in the marriage! HA!
I must have been a real good girl this year! I got a pair of boots, a pair of white gold earrings, a tart burner, a new Ipod, and more. My mom got Dave and I a new Bun Coffee pot for our Anniversary. LOVIN' IT! Thanks Mom and Dad! All in all, we had a good Christmas...but I am glad it's over! Woohoo only 363 days until the next one! Not a moment too soon!

Happy 5th Anniversary, My Love

I remember laying eyes on you for the first time, almost seven years ago. I thought you were so strikingly handsome and smart. I NEVER would have thought you would have been interested in ME! I was minding my own business drawing blood in the ER when I was approached by Dawnetta asking me to go on a date with you. I was apprehensive at first, because I was dating a loser at the time. So I agreed to "a tea date" with you per Linda and that was it. From that moment on...it was bliss! Well, until you do something stupid (BITA), which you sometimes you have a bad case of. But all in all, you are an amazing husband, friend and father. I won't go any further because that is private! I love you for all you are and am so very proud of you for all of your accomplishments! You strive to make our family better and we have become such a close, loving family. I am so glad we had Nico and Abbie to make our family complete. Especially Abbie to give you the little girl to soften your edges. I love you so, so much and 5 years seems like 5 days. The next 50 years are going to fly by quickly just as the last 7 did. I hope we get to sneak away for at least 10 minutes today to crack a bottle of champaigne, make a toast, steal a kiss, and go about our merry way in mad rush of Christmas chaos! Happy Anniversary and Merry Christmas my love, I hope we survive it!!!

Counting Down...

Well, we are counting down to Christmas in our house! 4 days until Christmas Eve!!! That is the day we have our famly tradition "dinner", where everyone piles in our house, eat, drinks, and be's merry. Except for me and mom. We are too busy cooking, cleaning and crying this year I am sure! My sister absence is going to be so depressing to us both. Ashley will feel it I'm sure, but she's a little stronger, and a lot less emotional when it comes to feelings. She is good at burrying it deep so no one can see the pain. My mother and I let it flow, no matter who the hell is there...we can't help it. It seems Christmas has less and less meaning every year. Maybe becasue I have less and less family every year. Don't get me wrong, I love my in-laws, but it's not the same as your own family. I live for my kids, put on a happy face, my Holiday face, and keep going...waiting for it all to be over. Holding my breath, that I don't break down in the middle of everything...God help me!!!!
It used to be, back in the day, We would pick names so everyone would have a gift to open. We would set a limit of either $50 or $100. Depending on how the economy was that year. One year no one was working good, laid-off a bunch of times, trying to get caught up on bills, it was really-really rough, so we set the limit at $20. We had the most fun that year, and I think we got the nicest gifts! We were a great family back then. Aside the fact that Joe was ALWAYS drunk, Pam was ALWAYS mad because Joe was always drunk, Shannon Jo ALWAYS acted out because her parents were fighting. Laurie would always come wearing a Santa hat, flashing bulb earrings, and a Santa sweatshirt that said: Dear Santa, I want it all! I remember thinking, " What an embarrasment these people are, are they REALLY related to me? GOD, I would give ANYTHING, ANYTHING to see those flashing earrings, santa hat and sweatshirt on my sister walking through my door on Christmas Eve...ANYTHING!

Our Concert Night

Boo Hoo!
That is what I say! I am P-O-ed! First off, we got ripped on our seats. I ordered Orchestra seats. At Hienz Hall, this means RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE STAGE PEOPLE!! Where were we? 25 rows back! Maybe even further. I was so furious I couldn't even enjoy the concert. Oh no, wait, maybe that was because they were head-banging the whole damn time! Yeah, Chris Botti is SO Loyal to his bandmates,, that he actually lets them have the majority of the time on stage to play their instruments "solo". Hell, I listenend to the funky black guitar bass player jam MORE than I heard the trumpeteer. That, my friend, is sad. Especially when you pay an arm and a leg for tickets. No Christmas music, no variety, and no pictures! We have been following this jerk since he started out YEARS ago when he was NOBODY and NOTHING! He had all the time in the world to stand there and shoot the breeze then. Now he is a big name, he doesn't have the time for his faithful fans who have been with him from the beginning. Bleh to you Mr. Trumpet player. See if we come to see you again!

If I were Tiger Woods' Wife

Oerh Man, I get more mad as the number's go up! What are we on now 14? 15? It is phenominal the amount of women this PIG has been with and unprotected at that! If that were my husband, he would be searching high and low for the pieces of what would be left of what used to be his penis! Only Lorena Bobbitt would be an angel in disquise compared to MOI! After I was done with him...Sex would be the LAST thing on his mind...EVER!! I feel for his wife, in a way, but the biggest part of me wants to haul off and smack her as hard as I can. Any woman who truly knows her husband would be able to tell in a heartbeat if he were cheating on her with another woman, let alone 15 of them! To bring two children into this world with a man as unstable as this one, no matter how much money he is worth is unspeakable. And I am here to tell you, if the dumbass stays with him for a certain amount of money...she deserves anything she gets, even if it is an STD. God help the children! God help you Tiger...your going down!!!!!

And the festivities begin...

Tonight is the night!
We, here at the Kieta's, are decorating the tree! Brace yourselves, because you may hear me screaming from wherever part of town you are reading this from. I kid you not, my daughter thinks she owns the house, let alone tree! I remember when Nico was Abbie's age, we only had decorations from half way up! It was PATHETIC! Last night we celebrated my Mother-in-laws Birthday. She looks good for (I say 49). It's hard to believe my siblings are alot older than my mother-in-law! They are great people. I am very lucky to be a part of such a wonderful family. I don't think my husband realizes how blessed he is to have such a nice, NORMAL family. HELL, he still has his GRANDPARENTS! Do you know what I would give to have my Gram back with me? Lucky man and takes it all for granted. All I have is my Mom and Dad and one niece. That's it! End of story, end of family! So sad!
Well, another thing to p-me off before the Holidays... my sweeper died last night. Yes I know I have OCD and I run my sweeper EVERY DAY, BUT isn't a sweeper supposed to last longer than a year. Especially when you pay an arm and a leg or two for the damn thing! I swear people, I am marching to Wal Mart and buying the cheapest sweeper with a BAG I can find! Eureka, come on down and come on home to mama! I have had Eureka's before that have lasted for ten- fifteen years! What is going on anymore. Same with lights. You buy a set of Christmas lights, two days later...burned out!!! Arrrggghhh! I'm not sure if I am getting older and my patience level is getting smaller or the world just plain sucks! Wish me luck in the tree decorating department. Pray we come out alive! Joy to the world!!!

First Snow!

Here it is people! Our first snowfall of the year 2009! It really is beautiful and always makes me a little teary-eyed. Why you asked? Because I am off my rocker! That's why! I have like, a million place to go today and the last thing I need is to worry about siding all over the damn road and crashing my SUV into a tree trying to get there. Which reminds me of the time I was on my way to work one day in a bad ice storm. I must of hit a patch of "black ice" and it sent me sailing into guard rails and every other damn thing. I felt like the ball in the pin ball machine when you pull the lever and let it go. I was bouncing back and forth from one side of the road to the other, with absolutely NO control over my car at all. I thought I was a dead girl. I remember drifting into the EMS station at the bottom of the hill, trembling and unable to breathe. All I could tell them was to get me to the Hospital! They said, "Why, what's hurting you the most?" I said "The fact that I am going to be late for work!" I remember walking in through the ER and seeing my husband, who, then I only knew as Dave, the ER nurse. I will never forget the look on his face when he saw me standing there holding my steering wheel cover, probably thinking, "What a goofy woman,RUN!" But he didn't! And here we are, seven years and two kids later! So onward with the story of the snowfall... we will start our new tradition today. Dave and the boys will go and pick out our Christmas tree, cut it down, bring it on home. And I will decorate it ...TOMORROW!!!! Happy Trails...........

Playing Santa Claus

Dave and I conquered the task of shopping for presents for all four kiddos today. This has become a tradition of ours over the past few years, since we have had kids of our own. He takes a day off from work, we track down the grandparents and off we go. Usually we start at Toys R Us and end up at Wal Mart aka "Old faithful". This year was different though. I am not sure if it is because of my sister not being here, or the fact that my mother has to have yet another surgery in a month, or that my brother is spending the Holidays is jail, or that my family is shrinking drastically more and more every year. It just does not feel like Christmas anymore to me. And if it weren't for my kids, I would probably jet off to a beach somewhere for the entire Holiday Season. I know my husband senses my sadness lately and I am not quite sure how to let him know that it's not him...it's me. I hope I snap out of it for MY family's sake, at least for Christmas. Dear Lord...Please leave my little family the way it is for awhile. Leave everyone happy and healthy and surgery-free. It's really taking a toll on me. Thanks!

The Book....

For everyone who doesn't really know me, I have been wanting to write a childrens book since my son, Nico was born. Well, that was back in 2005. Then came Abbie. Now I don't have time to blow my nose, let alone write a book. So, like Dave says, when they start school, start writing. Sounds good! I have so many friends who are writers, that I will never compare. Stephanie Wilder-Taylor, fantastic! She was born to make people laugh. She just published her third book, "It's not me, it's you!" She is a phenominal writer. Then there is Becky Harks. She goes by "Aunt Becky". Smart and witty. The type of writer that sucks you in, and makes you laugh so hard, you pee your pants. She is my new BFF! When it comes time to this, I am hoping I have the support of my friends and family, and the smarts to do it. I will dedicate to my children, Abbie and Nico, for making my life complete and making me a mom. I hope they see in the future how very much I love and adore them.