Sunday, March 21, 2010

Please Stay Sober

I have a friend who has a blog in which she diedicates every Friday to Sobriety. She invites her friends to tell their stories of sobriety and share their triumphs on her website. This, I think, is fantastic. Anything, in recovering from alcohol or drug addiction or hell, even food addiction is a triumph for me. And to be able to write it out and share it with millions of people is even more phenominal. I have a few things to bring to the table as far as alcoholism. I have a brother, who has been a alcoholic as long as I can remember. He has fallen off that wagon and climbed back on it so many times, I swear you would think he was a professional wagon rider! It all started when he was only 14 years old. I was barely a year old then and I don't remember all the glorious details, but I take in what my mom and sister told me over the years. I can remember as far back as maybe 4. I remember the police coming to house...ALOT! It gets old, sitting up at night waiting for someone to come home making sure they don't get killed, or leave a cigarette burning in the ashtray to burn the house down. Countless nights, I remember my Mom and I sitting up waiting by the phone for him to call for a ride home. He would get into horrible bar fights, to where I do not know how he survived them. Beaten with lead pipes and bats. I used to tell my mom, I swear God gave him nine lives. But I think he doubled them somewhere along the line.
Over the years, his drinking becaome became more frequent and drugs started showing up. I remember finding needles in his contracting truck. I used to cringe. He was always doing little stints in jail for DUI or parking violations or tickets. When his only daughter started on drugs, he fell into the path with her. The ventured down the road of "Hard Core Dope" together. She is now serving two years in a maximum prison for armed robbery. My brother is serving one year in a local prison for DUI and drugs. I truly believe that had he not gone to jail, he would have drank himself to death. He was in the bar from morning to night, putting down a gallon of Vodka in two days, sometimes sooner. Ontop of popping pill after ever-loving pill. Maybe this is God's way of "Drying him out".
The good in all of this? My brother and I have been writing leter's and talking via writing letter's. We are making alot of plan's for when he get's out of jail. I have been begging and pleading with him to make a clean start and turn his life around. I am scared. So, so scared he is going to "fall" off that damn wagon. I have to say, It's probably his last chance in life. If he choses the alcohol this time, it will be a death call. I can't afford to lose another sibling. I just lost my sister to Cancer last January. Cancer that attacked her lungs from smoking one cigarette after another. I am so tired watching people I love self-destruct. I know he is a big-boy and should be able to take care of himself. But because of alcoholism, he has lost his wife of many years, his home, his car, his freedom, and his dignity. He has pretty much hit rock bottom. Right now, the only way to go is up...right? Please, Please Please go up!


megan said...

HI Shannon, I have read this post twice and I just don't know what to say. It must be so hard. I am grateful that I cannot imagine what it would be like to be close to someone with an addiction like that. I hope and pray that your brother is able to make a clean start, and his daughter, too.

Keepingupwiththekietas said...

Thank you Megan, just knowing that people are supportive means everything in the world. It is so hard. I just hope him being in jail all these months straightens his life out. All of your prayers are so much appreciated!