Monday, March 8, 2010

My Heavy Heart

Lately I have been thinking alot about my sister. I am not sure why. Maybe becuase the weather is starting to ease up a bit. It seems like everytime the weather changes, I start to get depressed thinking about times we have shared or what she would be doing now. She wasn't a very "active" person, so I am not sure exactly why I harp so much on these things. I guess I just can't grasp the fact that she is gone and is NEVER coming back. I can't wrap my head around the fact that I am never going to see her face again! How final death is! Lately so many young people have been taking their own lives. Do they know what this does to their families? I bet I have seen at least 4 people over the last 3 days committed suicide. It's a damn shame. I understand peole get depressed and don't know what to do, hell, I get depressed all the time, but I try to find a bright side. I pity those who can't find that strength to grab onto that bright side and fall into the dark hole. It's a long journey, depression. A life-long battle. Some deny it, some live with it and never tell. Other's medicate themselve's and go-on with their lives. Other's never know they even have it, and end up going crazy and doing the unthinkable. I have had my share of depression from time-to-time in my life. Doctor's put a label on it as soon as you say you are not able to concentrate or feel sad or out of commission or tired. Right away, they want to slap you on medication. I have been on some of that medication and it almost made me crazy(er)! I have worked through the problems on my own, and came shining through (thank the good Lord!) I do rely alot on God and my prayer, it never lets me down. I just hope that when anyone who is reading this knows if they have any thoughts of depression... get help, talk to a friend, write it out, or call me...I am here for anyone who may need me!!! I am good for stuff like that. I may not be good for much in this world, but I do make an awesome listener, and a pretty good friend!!!!

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