Sick Little Kids

Nico has been complaining of headaches lately. Because I read so many blogs of people who have lost their children from so many freak accisents and scary diseases, I have been up all night thinking of the worst. I am sure it is a sinus infection. Of course, this shit ALWAYS happens on a weekend or a Holiday...WHY???? I want to take him to the ER, but my husband says wait it out. Why are men so calm when it comes to their children being sick??? I stayed up all night checking on him, while he slept like a baby. WTF??? Please pray for me that it is only a sinus infection and that his fever and headaches do NOT return today. May everyone have a nice, peaceful Memorial Day...as mine will be memorable I am sure!

The Real Housewives of Connellsville!!!

Just thinking about that title has me rolling on the ground! Can you picture that show??? I am addicted to all the Housewive show's. First it was O.C. Then I started watching N.Y. NOW, I am hooked on N.J. The only one I don't watch is Atlanta. The show (all of them) are so catty), that it is pathetic. But how can you NOT needless to get addicted? Especially when there is NOTHING else on TV? My husband does on-line school, so, he is pre-occupied for those hours in the evening. But, I really do need to be more productive, like write the children's book that I always dreamed of writing for my kids. It's just by the end of the day, my brain shuts off because I am so exhausted. :(
I really DO need to get off my dead rear and get something accomplished. Good luck to me~

Happy Birthday My Baby Boy!

Well, Yesterday was my son, Nico's fifth Birthday. It's hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that he is 5 years old! Typical mom word's, "It feel's like yesterday that I brought him home from the hospital!!!" We had a party for him at a local party place for kids. It was pricey, but fun. Of course, I am used to feeding the entire clan, which includes my husbands ten generation's, which he still has both grandparents alive (lucky bastard), and Aunts and Uncles, cousins, great- cousins-thier kids...you get the idea. My family consists of my mom, dad, and niece. Sad huh? Anyhoo, This place charges $2.00 for one drink, $1.00 for a small cup of ice cream (the one's you get at the convenient store for 25 cents), and $10.00 for a plain pizza.($2.00) each additional topping. So I opted to pay for kids only. How cheap did I sound? Obviously pretty much so. If I were to pay for everyone's meal, I would have been stuck with a $3-400.00 bill!!! I can't afford that! I have four kids to feed. My bill came to $140.00 and there were 9 kids there. 5 didn't show (Thank Goodness) it would have broke me! It's so sad what people charge these days. I would have been better off to have the party at home and made food for everyone. From now on, it will be. I thought I would save the wear and tear of my house (and stress), but in the long run, it's always better to have things at home. All in all, it turned out nice for Nico, he had fun, got alot of nice gifts...and sang karioke. THAT itself was worth the money! I would pay any amount of money to see my kids smile... and to keep them small!!!! I love you sweet baby boy, I hope you had the best Birthday ever!!!

My Tribute to Mother's Day...

There are so many WONDERFUL Mom's out there with so many different titles. Some have lost children, Some are raising children on their own, some are raising alot of children with the help of a spouse, and some have children who have grown and left the nest. I have encountered so many different people who have different "love" for children lately.
I read alot of blogs and comment on alot of different findings. My heart seems to go out to the women who's children have been taken from them for some reason or another, too soon. I couldn't imagine not having my children here with me on Mother's Day, or any other day for that matter. I find these women remarkably strong and true. Somehow they have found the strength to go on. My mother is one of those women. My sister passed away Janurary 2009. This was the 2cnd Mother's Day without her. She hides her pain very well. I know how much she hurts. How deep the wound is. I know how sick I feel. I can only begin to imagine how she must feel, it being her child.
Mother's Day took on a whole new meaning, of course, when I had my kids. It became "my day". I look forward to it each year. It gives me a sense of accomplishment towards my kids. I am very proud of my children and step-children. Proud of who they are and who they are becoming. I can only hope that someday they feel that I played a small role in their accomplishments, for my entire world revolves around them. Before my son was born almost 5 years ago, I swore I would return to work full time after my maternity leave. Once I held him in my arms for the first time, my entire world changed...forever! I have never been the same since, and needless to say, have never returned to work! LOL. Now I have my daughter, too. It is such a honor to watch them grow and learn and be able to be the one to teach them everything they know. I am very blessed to be "able" to stay home with them and see every milestone. I believe it really makes a difference. I remember my mom ALWAYS being home when I was at school. ALWAYS being there when I needed her, wether it was if I was sick, sad, happy, whatever. It was such a secure feeling. Home was always where I wanted to be, even to this day. I love my home, and I have passed on that comfort to my children because we will be out somewhere and they will say, "Mom, Is it time to go home yet? We want to go home!" I am glad they love their home. It's a goal I strive for and accomplished. So, thanks Mom for instilling so many wonderful qualities in me and passing on your great mothering ways. I love you for all the time you have wrapped up in me over the last 40 years. No amount of gratitiude could ever show...but then again, your mom and mom just knows! I LOVE YOU and HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

It's time to clean out the crap!

It's spring time again, and here, that means YARD SALE! Every May, the first Saturday is dedicated to a community yard sale. It's pretty neat because everyone knows it's coming. No need to advertise, come rain or shine, it is on! Well, I kind of wish they would have made it for the END of May when the weather was a little more predictable. New York just got a foot of snow yesterday. It's been really cold at night here in PA. Dropping to about 30 degrees. BRRRR. So on Saturday morning, I have to get my aching but up at 4 am, truck out into the 30 degree weather, and set up for this yard sale. Last year we cleared almost a thousand dollars by noon.
I was sorting through all the baby things, Abby's baby things, and I can't believe she is out of the "baby stage"! She will be 20 months old on May 4! Gosh, how time is flying by. My sister has been gone for 14 months already and I still feel like it's a bad dream. I still talk to her every day, yell at her when something falls in the house, because I know she is there with me at times. I miss her sooo much I think my heart is going to break. No one should have to grow old without their siblings. I try to pound into my kids heads every day how blessed they are to have each other. And never -ever take it for granted...because you never know what tomorrow holds.

Ready for a Splurge!

Have you ever wished you could just go shopping and buy whatever you wanted! Hell, I just wish I could go shopping! I would be happy with a day of window shopping! My dear daughter is at the age (19months) where she DON'T let mommy out of her sight! Not even to take a pee. Seriously, I go to the bathroom, she follows behind me, unrolls the toilet paper for me, flushes the toilet and hands me the towel when I am done washing my hands. Don't get me wrong, it's really nice having my own personal assistant and all, but somedays, I just want some peace! My kids are the greatest joys of my life, and I wouldn't want to live one single day without them. But I sure would like to have a "me" day. You know, the one where you get to go to ANY store YOU want to and stay for however long you want to! I can't even imagine that! It's been like six years since I have done that. Maybe longer. If my son has something he needs to go to the store for, it's let's get it and go! My daughter has only been to Wal Mart once in her 19 months of life! I'm not big on taking babies into germ infested stores like Wal Mart. Bleh! They seem to want to crawl all over the floors and touch EVERYTHING in sight! Super BLEH! I don't know why I am in this mood today, maybe it's because everyone I know is out shopping, it's beautiful outside...too cold to hang out but sunny enough to take a ride to the mall! Perfect shopping weather. I am eating my heart out here! I guess I'll have to settle for Ebay and the JCPenney catalog! Again...BLEH!

Another day in the Life

I have alot of blogs that I follow on a daily basis. Most of them are about mother's who have lost their babies to some sort of traumatizing illness or death. I don't know how I find these blogs, or even why I choose to follow them, but my heart bleeds for these mothers. Most of these blogs I have been following over a year and they are still in a deep state of depression and greiving. Other's have moved on and are still somewhat saddned. I try not to think about how I would react if I were in that situation, because that is the main thing I ask God for when I say my prayers everyday. I pray to never let anything be wrong with my children, and never let them suffer in anyway. I know I could never handle losing one of my children. As I have discussed with my husband already, God forbid, if anything should ever happen to one of my kids, just bury me right next to them because I could never survive it. I get sick seeing what these womwn are going through on the internet. I can't even imagine what they are really fighting the other 23 1/2 hours that we don't see them. It's awful. These poor children at St. Jude's Children's Hospital fighting for their tiny little lives every day. I pray that God heals them all. I wish they didn't have to suffer and die. I donate monthly to the St. Jude Hospital Foundation, but I feel like I could do more. My stomache just flops when I see those children. Tears fill my eyes. Those have to be the strongest people ever! They really are my heroes. And when my kids get a little whiny and out of line, and complain that they don't have or they want, I show them the picture's I have on the refrigerator of some of the children at St. Jude that are fighting for their lives. I tell them that those children don't have the strength to go outside and play, or can't go home and be with their brother/sister's. They can't go to the park or to the store or play basketball or Karate. They are confined to a bed all the time because they are sick and don't even know if they are going to live to see their next Birthday or not. It usually strikes a nerve. Makes them realize what is important. For a little while, anyway. I just hope that these children know that there are people out there that truly care about them and want the best for them. God Bless all children...even mine!

Please Stay Sober

I have a friend who has a blog in which she diedicates every Friday to Sobriety. She invites her friends to tell their stories of sobriety and share their triumphs on her website. This, I think, is fantastic. Anything, in recovering from alcohol or drug addiction or hell, even food addiction is a triumph for me. And to be able to write it out and share it with millions of people is even more phenominal. I have a few things to bring to the table as far as alcoholism. I have a brother, who has been a alcoholic as long as I can remember. He has fallen off that wagon and climbed back on it so many times, I swear you would think he was a professional wagon rider! It all started when he was only 14 years old. I was barely a year old then and I don't remember all the glorious details, but I take in what my mom and sister told me over the years. I can remember as far back as maybe 4. I remember the police coming to house...ALOT! It gets old, sitting up at night waiting for someone to come home making sure they don't get killed, or leave a cigarette burning in the ashtray to burn the house down. Countless nights, I remember my Mom and I sitting up waiting by the phone for him to call for a ride home. He would get into horrible bar fights, to where I do not know how he survived them. Beaten with lead pipes and bats. I used to tell my mom, I swear God gave him nine lives. But I think he doubled them somewhere along the line.
Over the years, his drinking becaome became more frequent and drugs started showing up. I remember finding needles in his contracting truck. I used to cringe. He was always doing little stints in jail for DUI or parking violations or tickets. When his only daughter started on drugs, he fell into the path with her. The ventured down the road of "Hard Core Dope" together. She is now serving two years in a maximum prison for armed robbery. My brother is serving one year in a local prison for DUI and drugs. I truly believe that had he not gone to jail, he would have drank himself to death. He was in the bar from morning to night, putting down a gallon of Vodka in two days, sometimes sooner. Ontop of popping pill after ever-loving pill. Maybe this is God's way of "Drying him out".
The good in all of this? My brother and I have been writing leter's and talking via writing letter's. We are making alot of plan's for when he get's out of jail. I have been begging and pleading with him to make a clean start and turn his life around. I am scared. So, so scared he is going to "fall" off that damn wagon. I have to say, It's probably his last chance in life. If he choses the alcohol this time, it will be a death call. I can't afford to lose another sibling. I just lost my sister to Cancer last January. Cancer that attacked her lungs from smoking one cigarette after another. I am so tired watching people I love self-destruct. I know he is a big-boy and should be able to take care of himself. But because of alcoholism, he has lost his wife of many years, his home, his car, his freedom, and his dignity. He has pretty much hit rock bottom. Right now, the only way to go is up...right? Please, Please Please go up!

I Miss You...

This is the last picture I took of my dear, sweet sister about a week before she passed away last year. We were at my mom's house on Christmas Day for dinner. She was so happy to be there with us and my baby girl. She absolutely adored Abbie. She always told me from the day I got pregnant that I was having a girl. I know she is her guardian angel and she watches over her. She passed away Janurary 3rd 2009. It seems like a lifetime ago that I have heard her voice, yet I'll never forget her laugh. It seem like eternity since I have seen her face, yet I'll never forget her smile. I love you, sissy. I hope Heaven is everything you thought it would be. I hope you are running your fingers through that lion's mane, riding that drop of rain, visiting with your dad, and grandma and all of those we lost along the way. Until we meet again, please be our angel and always remember how much you are forever loved and missed.

This is what it's all about at the end of the day!

Rewards

I am making this post about rewards for the simple fact that I am sitting back and looking at what I have created today. Taking it all in, breathing deep and letting out a tear or two of happiness and thanks to the Lord that four of the most beautiful children in the world belong to me. I couldn't imagine what in the world I have done in my past that makes me so blessed to be a part of their lives. I have truly been honored to be David and Jacob's Step-mother. Eventhough we do not use that word "step" in our house, every one is brother and sister. I am "Nan". How precious is that? I recall one day Jake asking me if I wanted them to call me "mom"? I answered with a "No". The look on his face was priceless. He said, "Why?" I simply told him, because you already have a mom, and God only gives you one mom and one dad, you blessed me by calling me "Nan" years ago and that is who I am, and I LOVE it! His eyes lit up like a Christmas tree and it looked as if he were relieved a bit. In my heart, I wouldn't want my children calling anyone but ME mom, so I respect that in everyone else...even if it is an ex-wife that I do not care for and does not respect me. From that day on, a new bond has formed between us. As for my biological children, they are perfect in everyway. They have their days as all children do, but they are beautiful, smart and sweet. I am the proudest Mommy in the whole world to have those kids.

O Brother...

I am having a hard day. Very emotional and crying over every little thing today. I received a letter from my brother who is doing time in prison for DUI and a violating a PFA order. A long story, for another time. It saddens me to the core that he is in there and and I know he put himself there, but my heart feels otherwise. He is my only surviving sibling and I love him. I know it's killing my mom that he is there. He calls her every other day. It took me all day to get up the courage to read the letter because everytime I picked it up, I started to bawl. It wasn't anything bad, just saying how much he missed us and loved us, and that he was facing some medical issues about his liver being bad. From the many, many years of alcoholism, he now has sclerosis of the liver. The doctor's tell him if he takes one more drink, he will die. Well, this threw me for a tailspin. I can't bear to lose another sibling. Losing my sister was traumatizing enough! It's been a little over a year and I still can't wrap my head around the fact that she is gone and I will NEVER see her again!
The worst part of all this is that my brother is making all these plans for when he does get out. He is promising to take my kids, along with his grandkids to Idlewild and Sandcasltle. Great! I just hope he stays sober long enough to do so. Because if he doesn't...he will die! How do you prepare yourself for something like this? Ugh, I know my mother will never survive another death of one of her children...NEVER! Anyone have a majic wand I can borrow for awhile? I promise to return it...Maybe!

My Little Boy

Tomorrow I will be taking my son, Nico to register for Kindergarten for the fall. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that my first born child, my baby boy, who weighs a whopping 89 pounds and is over 4 feet tall and almost 5 years old is going to school already. Where on earth does the time go? I remember the day I brought him home. Before long, I will be sending my baby girl, too. I sigh knowing how hard it will be for me to put him on the bus that first day. Everyone keeps telling me, you will rejoice, celebrate, jump up and down! No way! I love my kids and love being home with them all day and watching them learn and grow. Yeah, there are days that are trying and stressful, but I wouldn't trade them for anything! I was so blessed to have been able to stay home and be with them all these years. I am glad I am the one who taught them to write and walk and do everything they know how to do up to now. I know now it's time to let go and set him free. (A little bit) But I will always be that hovering mommy who loves her little boy more than anything in the whole world, and I bet I will be the proudest mommy of all the Kindergarten mommies there tomorrow. My son is by far the smartest, most handsome, polite, little boy ever. And I like to take some of the credit for that!

My Heavy Heart

Lately I have been thinking alot about my sister. I am not sure why. Maybe becuase the weather is starting to ease up a bit. It seems like everytime the weather changes, I start to get depressed thinking about times we have shared or what she would be doing now. She wasn't a very "active" person, so I am not sure exactly why I harp so much on these things. I guess I just can't grasp the fact that she is gone and is NEVER coming back. I can't wrap my head around the fact that I am never going to see her face again! How final death is! Lately so many young people have been taking their own lives. Do they know what this does to their families? I bet I have seen at least 4 people over the last 3 days committed suicide. It's a damn shame. I understand peole get depressed and don't know what to do, hell, I get depressed all the time, but I try to find a bright side. I pity those who can't find that strength to grab onto that bright side and fall into the dark hole. It's a long journey, depression. A life-long battle. Some deny it, some live with it and never tell. Other's medicate themselve's and go-on with their lives. Other's never know they even have it, and end up going crazy and doing the unthinkable. I have had my share of depression from time-to-time in my life. Doctor's put a label on it as soon as you say you are not able to concentrate or feel sad or out of commission or tired. Right away, they want to slap you on medication. I have been on some of that medication and it almost made me crazy(er)! I have worked through the problems on my own, and came shining through (thank the good Lord!) I do rely alot on God and my prayer, it never lets me down. I just hope that when anyone who is reading this knows if they have any thoughts of depression... get help, talk to a friend, write it out, or call me...I am here for anyone who may need me!!! I am good for stuff like that. I may not be good for much in this world, but I do make an awesome listener, and a pretty good friend!!!!

New Baby

We are proud to announce that there will be a new "Kieta" coming to a theatre near you. My brother-in-law and his girlfriend Bonny are expecting their first child in July. As a matter of fact, it is due July 31st, the day after my birthday. I am so happy for them. It brings me joy to know that my kids will have a cousin close in age. I hope for my daughter's sake they have a girl, but then I want to be selfish and her be the only girl in the family. Is that mean? Right now, she is the PRINCESS, and if they have a girl, she won't be the princess anymore. That will suck. All I ask, is that this baby is healthy with ten little fingers and ten liitle toes. The best part about it is; I get to babysit and sent it home and get a good night's sleep!!!! LOL! Love you Steve and Bonny, you will be awesome parents!

Bring it on...

I thought I was going to get by this sick season without any major disasters. So, I let my son go to his grandparent's house last week. Now, normally I am a freak when it comes to bndling up my kids to go out in this nasty weather. I make them wear hats and scarfs and gloves and zip up to their eye-balls! Yeah, I am a leunatic! In my opinion, there is nothing MORE stressful than a sick kid! Agree? Onward...
My kid comes home the morning after with Grandpa in tow, still in his pj's(accckkkk!), Hat NOT down over his ears coat not zipped up, no gloves, scarf WTH???? Wind blowing 40mph!!! He went to the post office, and God knows where else in the the cold weather, NOT bundled up! NOW he has a TERRIBLE Chest cold which I fear may be pneumonia. Just shoot me dead...Abbie started coughing this morning, load up the gun... now I will have TWO sick kids to tend to. Do people not realize that sick kids mean sleepless nights, irritability, crankiness, snot-nose, hacking, coughing, constant- hanging on mom and dad and did I mention sleepless nights????????? So, I have a 3:30 appointment at the Pediatrician's Office today. Hopefully I will nip it in the bud. Pray, Pray, pray. Thanks grandpa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday My Love!

Today is my dear sweet Husband's Birthday. He is 36 years old! He is always a baby to me since I am the cougar! I am four years older than he is. Age is only a number, right? Today I celebrate him for everything he is. He is a wonderful father and husband. My best friend, confident, and sometimes the biggest pain in my butt! But, I would never want to know what life would be like without him. He has blessed me with two wonderful step-sons. And two beautiful children Nico and Abbie. My life is so rich and full because of you sweetheart. I know times are rough sometimes, but WE always make it through...together. And through life, that is the way we will handle life's up and down's...together. I celebrate you today, because on this day, God brought into this world one of the greatest people he ever created. One of the most kind hearted, caring, loving, soft spoken, gentle hearted souls ever seen. Today, my love, is your day and I hope you take it and enjoy it sourrounded by all you have accomplished. Your four beauiful, healthy children, a wife that admires you more than anyone else in the world and a family that loves you so very much. Today my love, we celebrate you because there is no one else on earth quite like you. And I am so very blessed you chose me to share this life with you. Happy, Happy Birthday my dear sweet Love. I love you with all of my heart and soul. Shannon

The art of Parenting...

Why is it that sometimes we catch ourselves in a moment when we think about things into the future and it causes us to bawl? Just today after my son came home from spending the night at his grandpa's house, I was watching him and his sister hug and kiss all over each other. Apparently they missed each other. It melts my heart to see them so loving towards each other. I instantly start playing the song "Then they do" by Trace Adkins. I started to cry thinking, WOW, my son is going to be 5 years old in two months and my baby girl is a year and a half. Where on earth does the time go? Seriously, next month I register my son for Kindergarten, YES, it's here already! I can't believe it! I look at the boys and see how they have grown in the 7 years I have been with my husband. David was almost 3 and Jake was 1 1/2 when I started dating Dave. Now David is going to be 10 next month and Jake will be 9 in July. It's amazing how you can love someone else kids like they are your own. I never thought I could. Our family is so special to me. I want my husband to know that I will never take him or our family for granted. Not now, not ever. Thank you for letting me be a part of your life, and most of all, Thank you for making me a mom to the two most beautiful children EVER! I LOVE YOU!!!!

New Friends

I am dedicating this post to my new friend Megan. She has a blog called "Daughter of Mary". The reason I am dedicating this post to her is because she became my first follower. I do not have a prize for her nor an all expense paid vacation, however, if I could afford it, I probably would because I have been blogging for quite sometime now, and seems like no one is really interested, so I started slacking off. I tried to tell myself I would do it for me, so I could keep a little on-line "journal", but it got to be too much. Especially when no one bothered to read it. So, when I commented on Megan's blog and she responded by commenting on mine, and becoming a follower, I was estatic! She gave me the incenitive I needed to get back on track. Thank you my new friend, Thank you God, for new friends. You must know when to send them! I owe you one!!!

Facebook Finatic!

Hello, My name is Shannon Kieta, and I am addicted to Facebook.
I do need to get a life. Not sure if the four walls are getting to me, or if I just need to make some friends, or if it really is a good thing. I have re-connected with alot of people I haven't talked to in twenty some years, since high school. It is really fascinating to me that we can pick up right were we left off. And for the people I used to work with, whom were like family to me, I missed them terribly when I left to have my son, and never returned to work. It's like a part of me I lost a long time ago that I have rekindled and I love it! Am I making any sense at all? Or am I rambling?
I first signed up a few weeks ago on a Saturday when my husband went hunting in Ohio for the day. I knew it would be a long day, so I figured, "What the hell!" I was so hesitant to do it before, afraid of rejection. Just like back in high school. I wanted to be "cool" and hang around the "cool" girls. I don't think I was ever "cool". Just "me". I really surprised me of how many people remembered me and openly accepted me as their friend. I can't believe the support they gave me when my mom was having surgery. It's really great to have that connection with those friends again. I hope this time, we can stay connected forever. And who knows, maybe someday, we can actually "physically" see one another! Thanks to whoever masterminded Facebook...you are the man...or woman!